Ice Age Trail 50 (50K) - DNF

Ice Age Trail 50 (50K) - May 13, 2017

DNF'd at 19.9 miles

strava data here

this was not my first rodeo... i had a solid plan for this race.  based on the last time i ran it, and the data that race provided i decided to run the first out and back slower.  my research showed that i needed to run a steady 10:37 min/mile pace the whole race to meet my goal of a 5:30 time.  that is totally doable and the strategy was to run faster than goal pace for flats and downhills to make up for the walking i would be doing.

sounds easy peasy lemon squeezy... right?

yeah... not so much.

within the first 1.5 miles of the race my left foot and calf began to cramp up.  this has happened before on training runs and i believe it's all connected to the menagerie of issues that have plagued the left side for years now.  i have no idea how to remedy what ails my body as the issues are always different but seem to also always crop up on that side of my body.  *sigh*

anyway... i ended up walking for a bit just over 1.5 miles in which allowed the cramp to subside and me to begin running again.  after that... it was smooth sailing.  

the issue i've been having with my butt caused me not to run at all the week leading up to this race.  after my last long run two saturday's ago followed by beartrax... i was in a great deal of pain.  i cut several runs short the week before last due to the pain so i figured it was better to let that pain subside prior to iceage than to force the short training runs (4mi, 3mi, and then 2mi)  i had planned leading up to the race.  maybe that was the wrong decision?  i dunno. the pain in my butt seems to be coming from maybe tight abductor muscles?  i am really at a loss... the pain is on the inside of my butt near the crack but sort of underneath. from this diagram it seems that's where the adductor muscles connect under the glute.  

whatever, back to the race.  so once the premature cramping subsided and i fell into my groove i was running really strongly and having a great deal of fun.  this is my favorite part of the course.  the out and back... i love the iceage trail and in particular this section of it.  it is a lot of fun to run.  i got stuck in a couple of conga lines since i fell behind a slew of people when i walked so early in the race but that was ok as i kept telling myself i was trying to pace this portion and go slow.

unfortunately, there were even a couple of times where i actually WALKED on a down hill because i couldn't get around the more careful people in front of me.  i don't know if you know this about me, but I LOVE BOMBING DOWNHILLS!  love it!  seriously that is so much fun to me.  the pure abandonment of all safety concerns.  i don't care about falling... i love the feeling of running so fast and free.  tiptoeing with the swiftness of a lithe and dainty hippo through and around rocks, branches, roots, and other obstacles.  it is so much fun.  i like that i can still do that fearlessly.  

my alter-ego: smirk savage of the rushin' rollettes...
not sure what season... maybe 2007?

i attribute my trail confidence to having played roller derby for so many years with women so much larger than myself.  i've gotten hit so hard in a bout once that i flew clear off the track and under the dj booth.  i fell so much in derby that it no longer phases me.

roller derby taught me how to be fearless and own my space in the world.  

so when i run downhill with complete abandon and fearlessness... this is why.

as i was saying, the out and back went smoothly and i finished that portion feeling really solid.  my hip flexors started talking to me near mile 10 but the conversation was so benign that i ignored it.  everything else felt surprisingly good that i just thought the hips were conversational given the pace of my race so far.  by the time i came through the start/finish to begin the first loop i was still feeling good but my hips were beginning to be painful.  i thought i could push through.  my easy flat pace on the 1.5mi section of ski trail back to the start/finish was pushing a 9min mile so i believed that the loops were going to be a breeze... 

i was wrong.

i stopped at the start/finish to use the bathroom and to take off my shoe a second time.  i had stopped a few miles before on the out and back because it felt like there was something in my shoe... possibly a little stone or my sock was folded or something.  the underside of my foot felt like i was stepping on something painful and i thought that before it got worse i should remedy it.  when i took my shoe off the first time i found nothing and carried on.  this time i took both the shoe and sock off because i thought maybe a small stone had gotten in my sock and under my foot.  again i found nothing but the fold in the middle of my foot just below the ball was hurting and felt like it was not flattening out or something.  i put my shoe and sock back on and took off on the first loop feeling good.

my hips were still chatting away to each other and me but again... it wasn't painful enough for me to pay them any mind.

a couple of miles into the loop tho' and i knew there was something very wrong.  both of my hips were becoming more and more painful with each stride.  not just the front flexors now but the outsides of both hips too.  i decided to walk it off.

as soon as i tried to start running again my hips were screaming at me bloody murder.  there was a fire and i was not doing anything to put it out... or so my body was telling me.  i pushed on.

the flats were good and i was keeping a 9ish min/mile pace, but that all changed on the downs.  i had to slow my roll considerably to go downhill without making the pain sharper.  which was compounded by the immediate ups (these ski trails are rollers and i loathe rollers)... walking up and then immediately having to go back down was murdering me.  when i would finally hit the flat it was becoming more and more impossible to pick my legs up to run.  once i got running the pain was bearable... for awhile.

by mile 14 i knew in my heart it was over.  i called my husband and immediately burst into tears.  i asked him to come early as i knew i was going to drop after this loop.  he was supposed to meet me for the finish and i was asking him to come a clear 2.5 hours earlier than expected.  i got off the phone with him and pushed on.  a few minutes of running and i thought i could do it so i called him back and told him maybe he should wait.  then i started crying again.  he asked what he should do and through my tears, i told him i didn't know.  he said he was coming and i knew i was done.

i wasn't crying just because of the pain... i was crying because i was so disappointed in myself and my body.  i was crying because i missed every goal i set for this race.  i was crying because i simply couldn't do it.  i spent the next 4 miles in agony run/walking/crying (more walking and crying than running) just counting the miles down trying to get back to the start.

the final miles

there is a place on the course at mile 19 where the course goes right for another 2ish miles loop, but the start is left about a mile away... i cut the course and went under the barrier to get back to the start as fast as i could.  the idea of run/walking that extra 2 miles, if i didn't have to, was more than i could bear.  it was the decision that ended my race.

in hindsight (cuz, of course, i am in a different mental state today) i wish i would have toughed it out for the whole loop so that i would have had the option of taking a moment to breathe, reassess, and still be able to continue on the last loop if i was able.

that last mile walk to the finish was very demoralizing.  when i cut the course it put me just in front of the group i was running with before it all went to shit.  as each one ran past me they all said some semblance of "good job" or "great effort" which just made me feel so much worse.  as i cry/walked back to the start i felt so defeated.  rounding the final corner to the finish i saw my husband and son right away and immediately started making a crying beeline to them.  my friend laura came out of nowhere... she intercepted and hugged me on the course.  then i got to my husband and bawled into his chest.  i felt so angry, disappointed, and defeated.  i was probably a little embarrassed too at my performance (or lack-there-of).  i'm still trying to sort out my emotional response to the DNF.  my friend dave came over too for a hug and some reassurance.  he asked if i wanted to just sit for a minute before continuing on... i never even thought about that being an option until he said that.  hence the 20/20 hindsight about when i cut the course.  my other friend denny came and hugged me too.  i saw several other friends after that and all the support was so necessary and so welcomed.  i am very fortunate to have a great group of people who are willing to lift me back up when i fall down.

i don't know what this means for utah.  i emailed the race director to inquire about dropping to the 1/2 if they will allow it.  i do not want a repeat of yesterday.  utah is going to be much more challenging with the factoring in of above sea-level issues, the heat, and the fact that it's a mountain and i'm basically a flat-land runner.  i feel so heavy hearted about the whole thing.  

Chilly Willy Run Series - Flannel 5K

Chilly Willie Run Series - Flannel 5K - February 25, 2017
time = 25:28
pace = 8:20
placed 2 in my age group (40-44) out of 25
placed 18 in women out of 212
placed 43 overall out of 324
link to strava data

why do i do this to myself?!?  i SWORE... literally SWORE... that i would NEVER race in winter again!  i blame the recent 60º weather for my lapse in judgment.  i mean... it seemed like a very good idea at the time of signup... let's run a race in freaking FEBRUARY for christ's sake!

sure... what could go wrong?



um... let's study that question for a moment.



turns out... a few different things.




so it was 18º with a wind chill of 5º at the race start.  that isn't cool (no pun intended.  ok... maybe pun intended).  i arrived at naga-waukee park in delafield, wi about an hour before race start.  it's a good thing too because there were no bathrooms at the start/finish.  the park is broken up into "picnic areas" and the start finish was at picnic area 5.  when i arrived i headed to the bathrooms and they were LOCKED.  yup... locked.  so i headed over to the tent and asked about that.  they said that bathrooms were available at picnic area 2 (which is directly at the entrance to the park) and down at the lake which was also a bit of a trek from the start/finish.  while this was inconvenient it certainly wasn't the worst thing in the world.  i drove down to the 2, took care of that peeing business, and drove back up to 5 and parked.  just after i parked i saw dave and made him get in the car to talk.  it was hella cold!  so we chatted for a while and then saw (and said "hi" to) jeff  who was volunteering and taking photos for the race.

approximately 15 minutes before the start we left the car so that i could warm up and dave could find some others he's friends with.  i ran up and down a little bit of the road and mentally thanked jeff for telling me to come with screw shoes.  the pavement was plowed and pretty clear of snow, but there were still a good deal of slick spots and areas still covered with snow.  i should have known that this was going to cause problems...

about 5 minutes before the start i headed over to the corral.  i like to be in the front so that i don't get frustrated with getting caught behind slower people.  i know that people will pass me, but i just like to get out in front and get out of the way.  so i started near the front and that's where i saw another instep running team member, andrea, so we talked a bit about the weather and our shoes.  maybe now is an appropriate time to say that if i hadn't gotten my race comped through instep for being on their team i probably would have flaked and not gone at all.  responsibility (and possibly guilt) are strong and motivational drivers.  i run for instep on their trail team as well as for oiselle voilée.  for that reason i sometimes get comped entries to races where i can represent instep... this was one of those races.

dave & i just minutes before race start - pc: jeff crosby

just moments before we took off - pc: jeff crosby

the gun goes off and we start running.  the wind is gusty and makes everything a lot more challenging and so much colder.  i feel pretty good, but right away the cold is affecting my legs.  i can feel the waterlogged dead weight feeling coming on, but i press on and try to ignore it.  i feel like i'm running pretty well and i guess i should be since the first portion of the race is essentially DOWN HILL!  while this makes me pretty happy at first i then remember that what goes down must come up... at the bottom we loop through picnic area 2's parking lot and head back up said mentioned hill.  by now i've seen a few people slipping and sliding and i hear a guy behind me say that someone fell.  i've slipped a few times and my legs are getting heavier and heavier... so heavy, in fact, that I STOP RUNNING AND WALK A FEW PACES!  

what in the ever loving fuck?!?  yup... i'm not even a hair out of mile 1 and i'm freaking walking.  there is nothing more humiliating for me in a 5K than having to walk.  i mean, it's only THREE miles for christ's sake... what is wrong with me?

so i walk a couple of paces and then start running again.  i'm surprised i can even pick up my legs at this point... they are so damn heavy.  i focus on putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.   there were several turns on the park roads and an adjacent neighborhood and then we ran downhill again to the lake.  as with before... what goes down must come up.  *sigh*

andrea fell back right out of the gate because of the slipperiness of the roads, but she moved up on and passed me around this time.  i only walked (again) a few paces but man... it sure plays with one's confidence to have to do that.  this is the first 5K i've EVER had to walk in.  EVER!  i think the fact that we started at the top of some hills was a bit unnerving for me because we started with a significant descent and then a very slight differential between that and having to head back up right away.  it was absolutely a challenge (two times over) that i was ill prepared for.

i was feeling pretty down about my performance at this point and really just trying to keep picking up my legs and putting them back down.  i knew i only had about a mile left so.... i kept pushing and really just thinking about why in the world this felt so hard.

finally, the finish came into view... i saw jeff again (taking pictures) so i put on my photo face and waved.  as soon as i passed him i went back to looking like death.  i ran through the finish incredibly relieved to be finished as i simultainously cursed the time clock which was ticking off the finish time well past what i deemed acceptable for myself.

dave was waiting at the finish with a congratulatory smile and kind words.  we went straight to the tent for the promised hot cocoa and to wait for the results.

it was a pretty spectatular turn out for a race held on a not so spectacular day.  i will try very hard to remember why i loathe racing in cold weather after this race.

this race series hands out awards for the most average runner of the race.  so the man and the woman who run exactly the middle pack pace win an entry to the "average joe" 5K which i think is really awesome and fun.  those were the first awards handed out.

next they did overall winners and then age group winners.  i always like to stay and see if i've placed in my age group.  the announcer gets to my age group and calls out my name as the 3rd place winner! yay me!  so i receive my medal and the person called as the 1st place winner of my age group is my friend cortney (i didn't think we were in the same age group so i was surprised).

dave and i left after that.  we were supposed to go run lapham (i had 10 miles on my schedule), but i was so cold and disappointed after my race that i didn't want to run at lapham.  plus dave is considerably faster than me so i didn't want to hold him back since my body is currently walking on the heaviest of railway ties.  i mean... lead weights.  iron beams. tree trunks... you get the picture.  they were damn heavy and subsequently S.L.O.W.

i headed home and ran another 6 miles on the treadmill instead.

after my shower and eating i looked at the official results only to find out that they were different than what was announced on site.  i had actually come in SECOND in my age group because (sure enough) cortney was NOT in my age group.  i contacted the race director and he confirmed that the posted results are correct.  this is where the rest of my "what could go wrong" disappointment regarding this race comes into play...

i was disappointed to learn that he was aware of the issue with the results, but chose not to do anything about it right away because it "only affected a few people".  i am a pretty serious and competitve runner and even tho' i did a pisspoor job at this race the results... the CORRECT results... are very important.  i didn't freak out or act like an ass when given this response... i just said thank you and sent him my e-mail so i can get the correct medal.  i don't want to be a jerk about it, but this is the second time this has happened to me with this race director.  the first time it was (thankfully) corrected right away so i left with the correct medal and had pictures retaken with the correct medal... now tho'... i will have pictures with the wrong medal and it's disappointing.  it sort of makes me wary of running their races.  i understand that there are A LOT of things that go into planning a race, but honestly, i think that the results are of the utmost importance.  i suppose there are some people that wouldn't care if this happened to them, but if there's even one person who cares about this then the race director should care about it also.  i would not want it to happen to someone else even if it isn't really that big of a deal... more of a minor inconvenience.  anyway... that's the race report and my experience.  if you like winter/cold weather racing then i recommend it.  the course was insanely challenging and totally worth it.  i think it's one of the most difficult 5Ks i've ever raced (and all 5Ks are truly difficult).  oh and the shirt... it was cute.  tech t with a flannel filled state of wisconsin.  the race director also said during the awards that next year they'll have ACTUAL FLANNELS! that alone might make me do it again... lol!  i mean... c'mon... a flannel race shirt?!?  that's pure gold.