couple of things

so... i pulled my right hamstring during the icebreaker, and my physical therapist wanted me to stop running.  admittedly he wanted me to not be running anyway for the whole hip thing.  i didn't run from january 29th until february 10th.  that's twelve freaking days!  it was torturous!  not to mention that i didn't run from january 19th until the race on the 24th because dr. mike wanted me to rest the hip.

needless to say that when i started back on the 10th it was really really tough.

i've clocked 26 miles (all on the dreadmill) this week, and most of them were really challenging.  i've begun my iceage training and all of the runs are important ones.  i need to keep my body healthy so that i can go into this race whole and pain free.  that's the goal.

i guess i didn't expect to lose so much fitness within 12 days time.  running feels so hard!  i actually cried today because i had 1.5 miles left to run and it was just so hard!  i got it done and i feel really good about it now but at the time... man, it was really awful.

cindy crawford 2013

there's a photo floating around the interwebs right now of cindy crawford unretouched.  the comments on the photo are really positive and complimentary... however, they make me sad none the less.  why do they make me sad?  well... because the woman looks like a NORMAL woman.  she's had 2 children and is 48 years old.  she is in great shape and beautiful.  the fact that people are freaking out over her photo makes me sad because our bodycentric society has made it ABnormal for women to have stretch marks, and wrinkles, and gray hair, and whatever else it is that makes us aged.  the woman is gorgeous!  aging does not make a person ugly!  when will we understand that?  there was a time when aging was respected and revered.  that time is long gone...

it is depressing that women are valued so highly on looks alone.  we teach our young girls to value themselves based on looks.  our marketing does this.  i have no eloquent way to express how this makes me feel.  i am thankful every day that i gave birth to boy children.  thankful because i will not have to teach them that they don't have to aspire to something that is unobtainable.  some weird ideal that cannot be obtained.  i do, however, teach my boys how not to look at women.  how not to treat women like meat.  i spend a lot of my time trying to figure out how to teach my boys to treat women as equals in all ways.  it is a hard road to travel given that my boys are bombarded with the exact opposite in all forms of media.  women are things... we are simply here for the collective amusement and desires of men.  that is what our media teaches.  print ads, tv ads, tv shows, porn, movies, unequal wages, rape culture, cat calling, etc... it all speaks to women being less.  fighting against that is an uphill battle.  this photograph of cindy crawford isn't brave in the sense that it is normalcy.  it is beautifully normal.  it IS what a body looks like.  whether she's a supermodel or not it IS what a NORMAL 48 year old woman's body looks like.  wrinkled skin, cellulite, and all.  beautiful!

going forward i will not be mortified by the very mobile skin on my belly when i run.  i too have had 2 children and worked hard for this body of mine.  wrinkles, cellulite, and all.

we would all do good to love ourselves as we are and focus on more important things than the outside of our bodies.  these bodies that do such amazing things for us.

and that's all i have to say about that.

all the thoughts

so last september i developed some weird pain in my left hip after northface.  i'm pretty sure it is because i took advantage of a free chiropractic adjustment from a dude at the northface race.  i can't be certain about that but since that's when all of this began... well, i'm going with that diagnosis.

i didn't do anything about it until finally the week before my marathon (because i procrastinate and believe in miracles) i went to my real chiropractor and all but demanded he fix me.  he's basically a unicorn and therefore magical.

i saw him the tuesday and thursday before my sunday marathon and whatever he did got me through my marathon without any limping.  i was in a great deal of pain but no limping so i considered it a win.

after my marathon my season was basically over.  just one more measly 5K to do in november and i was finished racing for 2014.

i dialed back my milage after the marathon to around 25 miles (give or take) a week and have been at that since november.  now that my training season is about to begin and i've bumped up my mileage a little bit my hip is bothering me so i thought i'd be proactive and get a physical therapist on board.

i started a new job at the end of november and turns out there's a PT who works in our office.  he's pretty great from what i hear so i thought i'd give him a shot.  i saw him for the first time last thursday and he didn't even have his hands on me for 3 seconds before he said the same stuff my chiropractor said.  my hips are out of alignment.  turns out that my hyper flexibility is the bane of my running existence.  so he realigned my hips and did some deep tissue massage on the muscle that is all jacked in my left hip.  we discussed some exercises to strengthen the stabilizer muscles that hold the hips in place and that was that.  i've been doing those exercises and anticipate that he will be able to help me.  he intends to do some dry needling on me this coming week to really get deep into the muscle that is all bunched up since i cannot seem to stretch it out on my own and he was unable to really rub the knot out manually.  i hope that it works.  i just want to run and run successfully while meeting the goals i've set for myself.  i will try whatever in order to get this to happen.

the pain in my hip is pretty minimal but my fear is that it will increase as my mileage increases and i just want to avoid that whole mess.  be proactive and all that jazz.

i'm planning on training smart and steady.  running my miles easy and building up so that my races are easy too.  since the weather is cold and my work schedule is going to make sure that i spend some time on the dreadmill i've also decided to use those runs as my fartlek speed workouts.  i plan to get my speed up so that i can absolutely meet my BQ at lakefront.

on december 29th i cut my topamax dose in half.  at first this was causing me to experience some minor headaches pretty frequently but once my body adjusted i've been fine.  i'm hoping that this dosage change will positively effect my gut issues.  hopefully negate them.  we'll see.  i'm noticing that i'm not needing to go to the bathroom in the same way on my long runs so i think it may have worked in the way i anticipated.  if i could stop taking the medication altogether i would.  i'm just afraid to do so because migraines are no joke.  if i can keep them at bay with 25mg instead of 50mg... then i'm going to try and do that.  considering my prescription is for 100mg daily i've cut that medication a whole lot.  i see my doc (a new new one) in march and will discuss at that time.

so far my running is going well and i'm happy about that.  my goals for 2015 are attainable yet still tough.  my biggest race is the 50K and then second to that is the marathon.  i have pretty lofty finish times for both.  we'll see.  if my training keeps going so well i think i can meet my goals.

ninja moves

on tuesday i ran the black loop at lapham peak the fastest i've ever ran it (1:02:28)!  i've been running at lapham a few times a week in preparation for the instep 1/2 marathon that's coming up on september 6th.  i'm a bit nervous about it.  the course is two black loops with the tower thrown in during the first of the loops.

the tower at lapham peak

it should prove to be quite challenging.  in fact, that's the only part that i'm not looking forward to.  at my slowest i finish the loop in around 1:12 or 1:15... so throwing the tower in... well, i'm not sure how much that will slow me down, but it concerns me.  i think i can get moving pretty quickly once i get to the top as going back down should be a breeze.  the last (and possibly only) time i ran two of the black loop i completed it in 2:20:06 and that wasn't racing it.  that was also missing the tower so there's that.  my goal is to finish the race in 2:10 or under.  i think racing it i should be able to accomplish that.  i run this course so often that it is an attainable goal.

when i ran on tuesday i also managed to pull the most crazy ninja fall of all time.  i was running a flat just after asthma hill when i tripped so fast that if one were to blink you'd miss it.  let me back up a bit.  when i was coming up to the bathrooms i decided to bypass them as i was feeling so good and i was alone so i wanted to try and run the loop as hard and fast as felt good to see what time i could get.  i was really interested to see just how fast i could complete it.  so i just kept going when normally i stop and pee.  i passed another runner who was running at a leisurely pace as we were turning the corner heading up to asthma hill.

the flat at the top of asthma hill

now, i don't know about you but i tend to naturally pick up the pace when people are around me to see it.  don't know why... i just do it before i even realize i do it.  i mean... normally, at this spot near asthma hill i might be inclined to do a little walking but not this day... not with this lady behind me... nope. no way.  so i ran as much as i could up the incline towards the hill, and actually part of the hill and then i walked.  i walked the second half of the hill to the flat and then kept going.  it was once i hit the flat that something happened.  i was running just fine.  good form, feeling strong, breathing normal and not labored... i have no idea what happened.  next thing i know i'm on the ground.

here's what happened:  left foot stumble, left knee down, left forearm puncture, rolled on my back, right arm down, right foot down, and back up running.  i never even paused!  it was AMAZING!

i looked down at my left arm and the puncture wound was already the size of a golf ball on my arm and oozing blood but not really bleeding that much so while i was a bit concerned about the weird immediate swelling i just kept running.  mainly because... well... that woman.  weird, i know.

i did glance down at my knee and noticed some blood but again... not much so no worries.  i figured that since nothing really hurt i was probably fine.  i moved my arm around and nothing hurt so i didn't think anything was damaged.  nothing started to hurt until a few hills later at which point i stopped and examined things.  just some superficial injuries that i could tell through all the dirt.  i decided that i'd wash everything off when i got to the end of the run (2ish miles away), and reassess then.  my arm felt weird because the flesh was so swollen it was bobbing around, but other than that and the stinging on the scrapes on my leg... i felt great and kept running as fast as i could to get a good time.

i know, i know... priorities.   the thing is that i have that race next weekend and it's really important to me that i do well.  in fact, i am such a weirdo that i looked up last year's competitors in my age group to see what times i would need to beat to place.  then i looked them up to see if they were registered this year.  then i looked up everyone else (all 5 of them) who were registered in my age group this year as well as searched them on athlinks.com to see what my competition is for the race.  ok... that sounds a little weird once i type it out like that, but it is what it is.  i like to know my competition and how hard i will have to work to beat them.  especially, on what i consider my home turf so to speak.  i'm not fast enough (or young enough) to win in general, but i've been doing quite well in my age group and i strive to do better.  i have less anxiety going into the race if i know my competition.  i also looked up how many women over all that are signed up.  there's only 50 of them not counting myself.

i have so much respect for the trail and for lapham peak.  i love sharing it with people, but at the same time i want to OWN the course.

at the end of my run on tuesday i took the following picture before washing off my injuries.

ninja moves injury photo

turned out that things weren't so bad.  today (3 days later) everything is bruised and i've got a few scabs but other than that i'm no worse for wear.  i'm planning on running 3 loops of the black loop tomorrow to complete 20 miles.  i'm a little worried that i won't bother finishing as i may get bored and feel too tired to finish.  when i did the 2 loops a few weeks back i was pretty tired after the 2, but i'm running with a group for the first loop at least so that should help.  3 hours of running just seems really daunting.

it will certainly be an accomplishment if i complete it.  i think there's rain in the forecast too so there's also that...

it's been a WHOLE week and i didn't DIE!

it's been a whole week since i last ran and look at that... i'm not dead.

we did sign back up for the Y.M.C.A. since i can't run.  i won't be able to lift my arms tomorrow and i probably won't be able to bend over or stand up or walk up or down stairs.  i might not be able to move really but it is totally worth it!  i LOVE the squat machine!  i love any machine that makes it easy for me to work out in a shorter amount of time... that means i need weights.

3 sets of 15 reps on everything and i'm golden.

i will have the best ass in town in a couple of weeks and abs for days.  we'll see tho'... i'm going to be ripped!  mostly tho' i just want to have my body be strong so that i don't keep getting injured when i'm running.

i'm thinking i'm looking at another week of no running.

next week i'm going to try a short run and if it's pain free i'll start up again.  i've got the "luck of the irish" 10K  in just under 3 weeks.  i'm running it so i just hope i'm pain free by then.  i'm running it either way.  to compound my stubborn issues... i've got my very first marathon ever just 2 weeks after that 10K.  i feel like i should be more nervous that i am.  i don't usually get nervous about races.  i attribute this to the fact that i'm generally racing against my self... against my last time.  i don't really care (too much) about what other people are doing in the race so i don't really get all that worked up about it.  i mean... of course i want to do well and i want to do better than others thereby placing high in my age group but so far i am doing well in my age group so i feel pretty confident when going into races.  i haven't had any reason to feel nervous yet.  even when injured i've still placed high in my age group.  i feel confident that i can continue to attain my goals which are to get faster and finish in faster times than i've previously finished in.

i think that in order to do this i need to get stronger.  so there is a compound goal.  get stronger.  get faster. win.

easy peasey lemon squeezy.

now i just have to be able to run...

september 10th you are, decidedly, not my friend

welp... left work an hour early yesterday to go see my amazing doctor. the visit went as i expected... he probed the areas along the tendon on the outside of my foot to determine where exactly the pain was localized.  i explained what i've done (as opposed to not done) from the 10th of september until yesterday and he set me up to go have an x-ray just to make sure nothing was fractured or broken.  seeing dr. thomas really took a very short time and we talk A LOT!  then i drove over to CDI in waukesha.  it's really just a hop, skip, and a jump from the doc's office and on my way home so i thought i'd be done pretty quickly... WRONG!

i was in the waiting room for the x-ray for 45 minutes and then there was some confusion about what exactly my doctor wanted an x-ray of.  so it took a bit of time.  once the tech did the x-ray tho'... then i was out of there in a flash.  now i'm just waiting to find out what the results are.

i have the bergkonig mountain king run in lapham peak on saturday (just the 5K) and i intend to run it.  my doc and i discussed possibly taping the offending area of the foot which i will likely do but i don't know how much help it will be.  since i ran that 4 miles last week in around an 8:25min mile i think i'm good for a 5K.  i'm just hoping to cut myself some slack on my time.  i don't expect that i can run uphill in lapham at a 9min pace but that is my goal.  last year the winner in my age group did it in 27:22 so my goal is to meet or beat that time.  lofty i know... such is the bane of my over-achieving and competitive existence.  *sigh*

the overall fastest finishing time was 21:28 which there's no way i can even come close to that.  i fear that all my laurels resting for october has greatly hindered my endurance even if it was essential for the health of my ankle.  thankfully my ankle no longer hurts its just this damn foot! 

i have one more race this season after the one on saturday... another 5K on december 8th with one of my favorite people in the world... AND its on her birthday no less!  fantastic!

so... wish me luck on saturday.  i'll let you know how it shakes out.

just go ahead and linger why don'tcha!

i ran yesterday on the trails and (OF COURSE!) my foot was hurting from the get go... i ignored it and ran on.  eventually the soreness subsided a bit and i could focus on the run instead of my foot.

later last night i talked to a friend of mine and fellow runner who recommended i do an ice bath on the offending extremity.  we talked about it and he shared with me that a distance runner friend of his does ice baths often and has had much success with them.

so today i've been perusing the internets looking for proof of that before i go submerging my parts in frigid ice water.  if you recall i did not particularly enjoy my "ice bath" during the tough mudder earlier this month so (as can be expected) i'm a bit reluctant to try this method of healing.

i found this article which basically says that being in an ice bath has no significant healing properties.  then there was this article which says the exact opposite!  what's a runner girl to do?!?

i guess i'm going to test it out for myself and see what happens.  anyone have any thoughts on that?  if so... please comment.

pain in the tuckus

*sigh*

remember this?  well, that wasn't the only injury i gave myself while trail running that particular week.  i also stepped squarely on a big enough rock with my left foot to hurt something fierce...

i've been nursing both of these injuries ever since.  i haven't been too concerned about either injury until yesterday.  the foot doesn't hurt when i poke and prod it so i figured that maybe it was just an internal bruise.  i did my long run on saturday (12mi) and then went to chicago for the day.  it was my birthday and we decided to spend the day walking around parts of chicago.  we parked by millennium park and then walked to the water tower.  in between we went to navy pier for an art festival thing that was going on and also to a restaurant for some food.  it was a wonderful day overall but i'm sure contributed to the way my foot has been feeling.

yesterday, however, my run was brutal.

from the very first running step both of my lower extremities were giving me hell... the right, because of the pulled muscle, felt tight and uncomfortable but did not actually hurt.  the left, because of the (possibly) bruised foot, felt weak and overall painful with each delicately pounding step.  this was compounded since i was on uneven terrain.  ultimately the pain subsided some as i got deeper into the run. 

i cannot tell you how beautiful it is running in lapham!

i completed the black route in just over an hour... slower than the last couple of times but man... that foot!  my time was 1:02:17 for the 6.5 miles. i tried not to walk the hills but walked a minute on the south hill and maybe a minute or less on another hill further in.  not too bad.

when i got home my foot was awful to step on.  did i take any ibuprofen?  oh no... of course not!  i just got in bed and watched a little tv instead. 

this morning it was so painful to walk on that i was limping.  3 ibuprofen later and it doesn't hurt at all... must be some sort of inflammation.  what a pain in the tuckus!  geez... 

this weekend i have the brewers mini marathon and i'm supposed to do 2 more training runs before my off days.  i always take the 2 days before a race off as rest days. 

when i got up this morning i decided i wasn't going to run my last 2 training runs, but now that my foot doesn't hurt i think i might just do an easy 5-6mi road run after work instead of running the trails.  give my foot a break and all that jazz.  i guess i'll decide for certain after work and see how i feel then.  i guess that's the problem with being a bit obsessive... i feel awful not getting my runs in.

my mileage for this month has been awesome compared to april - august... i haven't made my goal mileage any of those months.  then i did the striders 1/2 and was thoroughly disappointed in my time.  i decided that i needed to kick it up a few notches so that the brewers 1/2 goes better.  i was really hoping to PR in the striders so now that's my goal for the brewers.  time will tell. 

injuries and whatnot

monday, tuesday, and wednesday of this and last week i ran trails instead of road.  i did this because by the time i get off work i only have so much daylight left and i really just didn't want to have to plan out a route to get my mileage in.  when i do trail runs there are only so many routes to take and my mileage is figured for me so i don't have any planning to do.  besides all that i have learned to LOVE trail running!  i can't believe that i ever hated it.  i think i hated it because it was so challenging... but if you know me you know that i LOVE a good physical challenge.

so trails it is!  on tuesday i was running a route i really enjoy... trees swaying, birds chirping, mosquitoes buzzing, and 70% humidity so sweat POURING!  i was probably 4 or 5 miles into the 6.5mi route and i stumbled.  i say "stumbled" instead of "tripped" because i didn't actually fall down.  i STUMBLED over a pretty large boulder (read 1/2 buried rock) with my left toes and caught myself with my right foot  ALL WHILE RUNNING DOWNHILL VERY FAST!  as soon as it happened there was a searing and shooting pain running through my right butt cheek (otherwise known as a gluteus maximus) and part of my hip.  what the hell?!? 

so i stopped and yelled "OUCH!" really loudly into the woods so everything would know i was injured.  then i kept running.  my butt hurt pretty badly for the last few miles and i was really glad that i was done.

yesterday i ran that same route again with my friend megan.  she runs trails slower than i do so it was really good for my body to do that route slower.  i was still in pain and i'm thinking i pulled a muscle when my body heroically burst into action to save me from the imminent threat of falling flat on my face on a downhill... yay body!

today i'm still sore.  thank goodness it's my rest day! friday & saturday i'm running on the road for sure.