autoimmune thingies

so... on june 9th i had a super weird reaction to something which resulted in my face and the tissues on the inside of my mouth swelling up like a balloon.  it was weird but not weird enough for me to bother much with it.

a week or so later it happened again in relation to something i was eating.  then it happened again... and again.  

after this happened a few times i started noticing that the inside of my mouth was really really sensitive and irritated.  my lips were constantly sticking to my teeth and it didn't seem like anything helped.  i would wake up at night and not be able to pull my mouth off of my teeth.

finally (about 5-6 weeks ago) i went to the doctor.

my doctor did a huge battery of blood tests to the tune of 6-8 vials of my blood.  what came back was weird.  something dinged on my test basically indicating that i've got some sort of autoimmune issue going on.  my doctor's guess is sjögren's syndrome because of the whole mouth thing.  he is simply guessing tho' because he's a primary care physician and not a specialist... so.... i am also scheduled with a rheumatologist for october 5th.  

fast forward to labor day (last monday) and i made myself tortilla crusted tilapia for dinner that i got from the grocery store.  two bites into the fish and my mouth, uvula, throat, tongue, and tissues inside of my mouth started to swell up.  this caused me considerable trouble swallowing so i took two antihistamines as fast as i could... then i waited.  i was pretty scared at this point, but i figured that since i could breathe pretty clearly i was still ok.  

on tuesday morning i called my doctor.  i needed to find out what the allergy tests results were since i either didn't listen when he called to tell me about the autoimmune thing or we simply didn't go over it because of the autoimmune thing.  either way... i'm clearly allergic to something!

when my doc called back and i explained everything... we went over the blood tests.  

I'M NOT ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING!  INCLUDING FISH!

i know what you're thinking... how can this be?  yeah... we're as perplexed as you are.  introducing specialist number 2.  now i have to see an allergist.  that appointment is on october 3rd.  *sigh*

i'm not allergic to any of the normal things people are allergic to so we're guessing it's got to be something totally abstract or it's the autoimmune thing that's causing the reactions.

what's worse is that i'm tired ALL THE TIME.  i just thought that i was becoming bad at running because it is hard ALL THE TIME.  it never seems to get easier no matter how many miles i put in nor how much rest i take.  i am always tired and it is always incredibly hard.  additionally, i am getting slower and there is little i can do about it.  i simply cannot make myself go.  i'm also having a great deal of trouble getting out of bed in the morning and this is very unlike me.  i don't ever feel like i get enough sleep and i feel drained.  

i've skipped 2 races now and am contemplating skipping a 3rd next weekend.  i just don't know how i'm going to race them.  i also have lakefront marathon coming up and i am terrified.  i have no idea if i will be able to make it to the end and the idea of DNF-ing is unacceptable.  i should be able to run 15-20 miles fairly effortlessly... or at least painlessly and i am completely unable to do this.  i run this mileage and i am wrecked for the next 3-4 days.  i am unable to complete my long run on the following day and then i cannot even complete my short run usually the 2nd day after that.  there is absolutely something wrong with me.

it is so frustrating.  i have goals damn it!  i have things i want to get done!  i am accomplishing none of the things i've set out to do this fall.  it is exhausting just thinking about it.  

so that's what's been going on with me...  we'll see if i end up running instep next weekend.  i just don't know if i have it in me.