oh...running: Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon

Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon - October 4, 2015

time = 4:01:45
pace = 9:14
7mi = 57:59 (2 min faster than last year)
13.1mi = 1:54:06 (30 sec faster than last year)
20mi = 2:55:57 (4 min & 3 sec slower than last year)
placed 40 in my age group (40-44) out of 167
placed 291 in women out of 1083
placed 899 overall out of 2281
link to strava data

to say that i'm disappointed with my results would be an accurate assessment. i went into this race with three main goals and one final death march goal:

to boston qualify

to beat my time from last year

to finish in 4:00 or under

to finish at all

i started with the 3:40 pace group because there wasn't a 3:45 and i figured... what the hell? i could bank some miles and then let them go if i felt that i couldn't keep up. the weather was perfect! 50 degrees, overcast, and very little wind to speak of. my shin felt really good the whole time so i was pleasantly surprised. i was running really comfortably at this pace and holding my own... it was glorious!

at mile 6ish i knew that concordia was coming up and that i would need to use the bathroom so i picked up the pace in hopes of not losing my pace group when i inevitably stopped at mile 7. unfortunately i did not put enough space between us before i sat down, and i lost my pace group. i'm not sure if that slowed me more mentally or physically. i feel like losing them definitely effected my pace in that i tend to slow down when i get into my head. at least when i'm following someone i keep up. so after i lost them i slowed by a barely noticeable 20sec per mile. while i could afford that... it certainly hurt me. at mile 13 i stopped again for a bathroom break and to switch out my empty water bottle for a full one from my husband (as is evident by my mile 14 split). it was really great to see my husband and son all the times i saw them along the course. shortly after i saw my family i saw a few more friendly faces: ami and todd. it's really nice to see people you know when running a race. it is encouraging.

at mile 18 i am still on par to finish ahead of schedule and ahead of last year's time. not a boston qualifying time, but i can make goal 2... and this is when it all started going down hill. my left hip started to really bother me. it was becoming more and more painful with each passing mile beginning somewhere around 10. by 18 it was a challenge to run normally and at the pace i had been holding. so rather than let that get the best of me i started pulling over to the side and stretching my hip and walking a little here and there. this significantly effected my pace. by the time i hit 20mi i was trying not to cry. i reassessed and gave up goal 2. now it was a fight to the finish in under 4 hours. i was playing mind games with myself... telling myself that 6mi is nothing. i run that all the time... piece of cake. i can do that in less than an hour. little did i know that my body had other plans.

every time i would walk or want to walk i would tell myself that i should just run or keep running because then i will get there faster and be done faster and then i will be done altogether. it's funny the things we tell ourselves when we are in pain to keep going.

i was making deals with myself. bribing myself. it was quite humorous.

the last 4-5 miles were brutal. every time i would walk i would cry it would hurt so badly. so i would start to run and that looked comical like a cross between that drunk squirrel that everyone posts on the internets and someone that shit their pants and is wearing shoes 3 sizes too small at the same time. the inner dialog assessment of my body at that moment went something like this:

"man, my left hip hurts, the back of my right knee feels like there might be a tear, hmmmm what the hell is wrong with my left foot? is it broken? damn that hurts... why does my right foot hurt now? what is going on... did i break my left foot? what is going on with my ankles? why do they feel like that? are they giving out on me? what the hell?!? am i going to make it to the end of this thing? it hurts more to walk so i'm not doing that if i can help it..."

and on i ran. one mile left to go and i'm walking and decidedly NOT crying and the 4:00 pace group passes me. fuckers. i start my hobble run and hope it turns into more of a real run. i am determined to run it in no matter how much it hurts. i keep running as i watch person after person pass me. as i watch 26.2 come and go i start cursing the course. it is LONG goddamnit! now i have to run .2 more! i want to cry!

i come into the finisher shoot and there are so many people. i really just want to be done so i can stop and my hip will stop screaming at me. i just want to stop. i see the clock... 4:01... damn.

so my last goal... the obvious one that there's no way i would fail at unless i broke a limb... just finish.

and so i did.

i am fortunate that i can run. i am fortunate that i can accomplish the things that my body and mind allow me to accomplish. i am so very proud of my accomplishment today even if i didn't quite hit the mark i was aiming for.