i don't know what's wrong with me...

welp... it's been another banner summer for my running.  *jokes*

april started things off (on a downhill spiral) with a bang.  pains began and never went away.  stopped running for a while and i've run 4 times since the end of june.  honestly... there's still something going on with my left leg and quite frankly i'm tired of it.  i'm tired of paying people to figure out what's wrong... administer therapies... and then have nothing be remedied.

so i just stopped running.  i have a race at lapham peak in (i think) 2 weeks that i'm ill-prepared for... given that i've not run. lol!  so i dropped from the 1/2 to the 7mi because i know i can complete it even if i don't run another day between now and then.

i'm also dropping out of the chicago marathon as there's absolutely no way i will be ready even if i started running today and it was pain-free.

so i'm just going to not.

i've been doing a lot of crossfit instead... and the extra free-time i've been afforded by not running has been a pretty nice blessing in disguise.  i've spent a lot more sorely needed quality time with my husband to reconnect in our marriage as well as more time with my kids.  i've been able to read books and watch movies and go places and drink wine and eat foods... when i'm training for something i do very little of those other things because my whole life is consumed by running.  i go to bed early as hell and absolutely do not stay out on weekends or drink as i would need to get up at the crack of dawn for running.  now... without the running... i've got quite a bit of free time which is so dope!

so the plan is to run lapham in a couple of weeks and then just not... stop until spring.  hopefully, that rest will reset my body and anything that is hurt will heal given time.  i'm going to just do other things i enjoy in the meantime.

is it disappointing?  hell yeah!  but really... what's my other option?  keep running until i permanently damage something?  no thanks tom hanks.  i'll just be over here resting my running body and picking up where i left off later.  who knows... maybe the run at lapham will be 100% pain-free and i'll have renewed hope to start running regularly again.  or maybe it will be like my last couple of runs and be fine at first but grow into painful.

life is short... time to enjoy it.