Thursday, April 17, 2014

oh, the possibilities...


running has become a very arduous venture as of late.  so much so that i've practically given it up in my mind.  i've almost written it off as a thing of the past and have actively been getting rid of or downgrading my spring/summer races.  i am having the most challenging time completing anything more than 3 miles without numerous walk breaks which makes me alternately overwhelmed with disappointment (to tears in fact), and seething with anger.  on wednesday i ran in one of the most beautiful places i can think of... vero beach, florida.  part of the run is paved and then part of the run is on a protected sandy road that skims the river.  the entire run is breathtakingly beautiful and yet... the entire time i'm running my focus is on my pain.  where, how much, what kind, and the severity of it.  my focus is also on how long i can force myself to go before i simply have to take a walk break.  my walk breaks are timed and are never more than .05 on my garmin.  however... there are a lot of them.  each break makes me more and more incensed which brings on the tears because the anger has nowhere to go.

yesterday we went to miami overnight for a heat game and while walking around miami i kept getting these shooting dull pains in my leg.  not encouraging in the least.  *sigh*

i have no idea how i'm going to rectify this situation.  i have no idea what is wrong or how to fix it so i keep thinking that i'm simply going to have to stop running altogether.  this makes me so disconsolate.  what am i going to do if i can't run?  how will i find that happy place?

today i saw this:

this makes me feel better and less downtrodden.  makes me feel like i should give it some time and try to figure this mess out before i just give up completely.  what i'm going to do in the interim is beyond me... i simply do not know.  i have all these races i've scheduled that i really really want to do.  the most important is the lakefront marathon so maybe i'll just give up all the others and focus on that one?  maybe i will lay off the running for a month or two and then try again?  i honestly have no idea what will work and i'm afraid that no matter what i try nothing will change and then i will feel so much more defeated.


4 comments:

Josh said...

My unprofessional suggestion would be to start by taking a break from running altogether. Maybe a month at least, but probably closer to two for healing purposes? If the Lakefront Marathon's the important one, maybe just chill out & keep hitting the gym for strength and LIGHT stairmaster cardio until, like, mid- to late-June, and then start easing back into running, with shorter, lighter, easier runs a couple times a week until you feel confident, then start building up & increasing intensity. That still gives you most of July, all of August, and all of September to build your mileage back up to marathon distance.

Of course, if distance becomes an issue again, you could always start doing one mile races and stair races! Say what you will about pushing yourself for a lousy, singular mile, but it's a different challenge. And you're still running. And racing. As for stairs, there's nothing quite like it. And you'd probably be good at it, too. I truly can't recommend it enough.

As a side question: have you ever met with someone about running technique, like with a trainer or someone at Performance Running Outfitters and had your form evaluated? Both PRO and my current trainer have pointed out some flaws in my form, which I initially thought was silly because I'm already pretty quick. But now, in looking at the form of really good runners, I can see what they're talking about.

mkerungirl said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time with running :( Are you still meeting with a doctor or physical therapist? I hope they are able to figure out something soon.

In the meantime, it might not hurt to take a few weeks off from running altogether. You would still have time to begin training for Lakefront Marathon in the fall and it might be just what you need to recover and start running strong again!

nikki said...

i would be interested in taking a break but i've got a bunch of runs i'm committed to that are coming up. one of which is the ragnar and since i've got a team of 11 other people counting on me i'm not dropping out of that. i'm just waiting on new insurance to kick in so that i can hit up my doc for an MRI and a referral to a physical therapist. it will all come out in the wash. :)

nikki said...

thanks sun! working on the PT angle.