10 weeks and still going strong...

it's been approximately 10 weeks since i've had any significant running in my life.  this hamstring tendonitis is kicking my ass, and (truth be told) i'm becoming so discouraged.  well, i guess discouraged isn't even the right word.  i'm... dare i say dispirited? crestfallen? depressed, even?  yeah... i am.  every time i go on a "test run" it is with less than favorable results.  the last one i attempted was last week when we were on vacation.  it is to the point where i want to throw myself on the ground and have a temper tantrum.  i am so frustrated.

strava mileage log january to present

i began, what was supposed to be a short and slow, run in beautiful sunny florida our first morning there last week.  i got .7 of a mile in, realized that i forgot to pack and subsequently slather myself in glide, and then (thankfully) ended my run at that moment.  i say "thankfully" because i could feel the line all the way up the back of my leg from the first few strides.  *sigh*

i'm frustrated because there's no end in sight.  no one can tell me how long the down time should be so that it will go away.  there's no course of action.  i need to know what to do and how to do it to make this right and make it go away.  i just want to cry.  also i've gained 5 pounds but that doesn't really matter except that i feel like i'm just going to keep gaining 5 pounds every month until i'm 500 pounds.  *sigh*  also also the 3 mile "test" runs i've been doing are really really hard and that sucks because i was running 30 miles a week no problem.  now i can't even run 3 miles without thinking i'm going to die.

all my winter progress out the window.

yes... i'm feeling sorry for myself.  maybe tomorrow will be better, but today i'm a big fat baby feeling sorry for myself because i can't even run a mile without pain.